Beat down, Sarada style!
by Zise Stars
Summary: Behold! Sarada's reaction to her finding out Sasuke nearly killed Sakura! It's not a pretty sight. Crack. Crack. More crack than a broken vase. Rated T for language.


'That's nothing, you should've seen him trying to kill your mother.'

'That would've been cool,' agreed Sarada absently. Then his words registered and she whipped around. 'What?!' she shrieked.

Naruto looked at her blankly. 'What?'

'He tried to kill mama?'

Cobalt eyes widened in horror as Naruto realised what he said. 'Ermmm, it's nothing, I was just joking around. 'Joking, yeah! That's my story and I'm sticking to it.' He ended on mumble.

The black haired girl was, surprisingly enough, not fooled by him. 'Papa! That's not true, right?'

'Ummmm...'

He face set. ' _Right?'_

Uchiha Sasuke, wielder of both Rinnegan and Mangekyō Sharingan, hailed as a prodigy, feared across nations, nearly had a heart attack at the look on his daughter's face. He may have fathered her, but she was still half Haruno, and when Harunos got mad, they were _scary._ 'Errr...'

'Papa.' Sarada raised her voice a little. 'Tell me you didn't. And don't lie.' She added quickly.

 _Damn it, Sarada,_ thought Sasuke frantically. _Pick one. I can't do both!_

'Papa!' She repeated.

He flinched. '...It's complicated...'

'So you did!' Gasped Sarada. 'You tried to kill mom? How could you?'

Sasuke cast Naruto a pleading look. 'Help me?'

Hokage cloak swishing, Naruto stepped as faaar away from the marked man as possible. 'You're on your own, teme. That girl would hurt me, and it would kill Hinata if anything happened to _'this,_ ' he gestured at his face.

Sasuke's pleading look turned dark. 'Some friend you are.'

Naruto shook his head in disbelief 'Sasuke, I trained for three years to get you back, lost my right arm, and even put up with that dumb-ass ribbon belt and now I just reunited you with your cutely homicidal daughter.' He clicked his tongue. 'What more do you want?'

Shin took the opportunity to blink confusedly. 'Can we get back to us and our epic fight, now?' When there was no answer, he sighed, took the initiative and charged Sasuke. Only to be rudely interrupted by a fist in the gut.

'SHANAROOOO! SHUT UP MILK BOTTLE! THAT ONE'S MINE!'

'That's my daughter,' smirked Sasuke proudly. Unfortunately, Sarada didn't share the sentiment. The Fist of Doom found itself lodged into his stomach.

'DON'T COMPLIMENT ME . I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! MOM HAS BEEN TAKING CARE OF ME SINCE I WAS A BABY WHILE I'VE NEVER HAD SO MUCH AS A 'HI' FROM YOU! BTW, THEY HAVE SOMETHING CALLED CELL PHONES NOW, BITCH! URGH! WHY WOULD MOM TURN DOWN ROCK LEE AND HOKAGE- SAMA FOR SOMETHING LIKE YOU! NOT TO MENTION LOVE LETTER DUDE!'

'LOVE LETTER?! WHO...' asked Sasuke, then yelped as his daughter planted a deceptively dainty- looking foot into his ribs.

'YOU DON'T GET TO PLAY THE JEALOUSY CARD WHEN YOU TRY TO KILL HER. WHAT IN THE SERIOUS FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!'

'She was annoying...' muttered Sasuke.

'WHAT THE HELL KIND OF LOGIC IS THAT?!'

Naruto, Chōchō and the Shin clone watched as Sarada began an earnest beatdown of her father. The female Uchiha had a lot of pent-up rage and did not show any signs of stopping soon

'My money's on Sarada,' said Chocho, as Sasuke came whizzing past her.

'No bet there,' snorted Naruto. He stepped to the side to avoid the airborne body. 'The real question is: how long can he take it?'

Chōchō shrugged. 'Two hours.'

'No,' the blonde shook his head. 'I say one.'

The sassy kunoichi folded her arms. 'Please. I think I would know what my friend was capable of.'

'And I was hit many, many, many times by the two originals,' countered Naruto. 'I have firsthand experience. One hour.'

'You're wrong,' piped up the Shin clone. 'He'll only last half.'

Both Konoha shinobi turned to look at the boy.

'Why are you still here?' Asked Chōchō finally. 'Don't you have something to do? Like fixing the hole Sarada put in your father's throat?'

Shin clone shrugged. 'I don't care 'bout him. In fact, me and the boys back home were gonna stage an uprising and kill him, but that girl did that for us. So I'm bored.' He rubbed his hands together gleefully. 'So betting?'

Chōchō and Naruto exchanged looks. This guy had just tried to kill them and should definitely be knocked out and carted off to jail . On the other hand, betting...

'Why not?'

'Sure.'

They shook on a price and settled down to watch the show, crunching on chips, as they watched Uchiha prodigy become an Uchiha prodigy pancake.

'Can't believe that teme,' muttered Naruto, counting bills into Shin's hand. 'Half an hour. Pathetic.'

'I'm glad he's not my dad.' Agreed Chōchō.

Suddenly Sakura landed in front of Naruto. 'I felt Sarada's chakra. Where is she?'

'I'm here,' said Sarada, wiping her hands on a piece of black cloak. 'C'mon Mama, let's go. We have to go to the hospital.'

'What?! You're hurt?!'

'No.' said Sarada firmly. 'For you. The Psych ward.'

'Why do I have to...'

'We're treating you for Stockholm Syndrome...'

Dragging a bemused pinkette behind her, Sarada disappeared from view, muttering 'that's the only explanation' under her breath. Meanwhile, the three spectators trailed behind her, discussing the massacre...er...match.

'That girl is scary,' observed Shin.

'That, she is,' agreed Naruto. 'And cold. Especially what she did at the end.' He shivered. 'That's hardcore.'

'I think it's genius.' Grinned Chōchō. 'A perfect touch.'

Two days later, Uchiha Sasuke woke up broken, beaten, bruised, pained... and with _pink_ hair.


End file.
